ramblin' (wo)man

winter storm warning round two. thats what the weatherman is calling for tomorrow. not sure i believe them. i will when i see it. which i hope i do. i hope i see lots and lots of it. and with it "coming" on a friday...thats even better. considering im not in school anymore, the cancellations dont effect me, so i dont care when it snows. as long as i dont have a doctors appointment or somewhere else to be on that day. and dad will hopefully be home from work before it starts falling so we can enjoy the white stuff together. this is all assuming its going to. because remember, ill believe it when i see it...
...i can tell there is some sort of "front" coming in though. my sinuses are screaming today. i woke up with a killer headache and "tingling" throat. sudafed followed. even if its not snow, im betting on some sort of precip. even rain. boo. rain is boring. i hope this sinus thing doesn't last long. i just stopped IVs yesterday. i hope im not coming down with something. mom didnt feel good last night either. my theory is the front coming in. im praying thats what it is....

....on the upside, ive gained a little weight in the past week! 3 pounds to be exact. awesome! i made my weekly call into transplant team today. the weight gain is fantastic news for them. hopefully, ill continue this trend of craving food, eating well, loving food and wanting more and more of it. i don't know why i do this, im not complaining by any means. i just don't understand how most of the time food is just okay to me. i eat to live. i like food, but i don't love it. ill eat 3 meals a day and only eat enough to get by. then, there's trends like right now, where i absolutely love love food. and i live to eat. crave all sorts of things. cannot wait for the next meal. stuff myself full at meals. and on top of that eat three to four hearty snacks...
...i love it when im like this. i feel so good about myself when the scale starts going up and when my clothes start fitting again. this probably sounds so odd to most people. its the complete opposite of most peoples problems. but it is the same struggle. i hear it all the time...ohhh i wish i had that problem. (referring to not wanting to eat-not to having cf) and i know its because they don't understand. everyone has struggles, things they battle. no one's one struggle is more important or harder than their neighbors. its your battle that you are fighting. it is how you fight the fight thats important. that you dont give in. some days will be better than others. sometimes you'll go weeks and do terrible. where you feel like the fight is beating you. but you can't wave the white flag. if your giving it your best shot. going all day giving your best effort. that is all you can do. do your best and pray. when im doing really good, like i am right now, i thank God for these days, and i dont take them for granted. i eat whenever i get the chance. i dont want this feeling to go away, and while it is here i use every opportunity i get. because i know some days will be harder and on those days i will need the extra strength i have now to get me through...so with that, as long as this lasts ill keep stuffing my face & putting on the pounds while at the same time putting smiles on my doctors faces....

....a real quick "itch" report...the hives themselves are faded almost completely, but the itch remains. poor Mrs. Eva that i sit next to at church asks me after every service if my itching isn't any better. im sure im a distraction. i wiggle around like a 3 year old. madison has a better time sitting still during service than i do. i had come off of the benadryl to just one dose at bedtime if absolutely necessary, but now it seems i have needed to take a dose in the morning as well. frustrating. but i dont think we will ever get to the real bottom of what is causing it. i think the whole "red dye" pill theory is marked off. it is not our detergent. after dr. s suggested changing to hypo-allergenic detergent and washing all of my clothes that i wear most and my sheets and still not getting better, i dont think its that. everything ive read, and all of the "experts" ive talked to say some people just get what is called chronic urticaria. and that may be what this is. fabulous. just another thing to add to my list. oh well. moving on....

...thats about it. im done ramblin for today. cant complain. everything is pretty dandy around here. just watching. waiting on snow. since ive written this some counties have already called off school. ha. ridiculous....

maybe my next post will be full of winter wonderland and snow pictures!

one can only dream.........

until then,

leigh allyn

Prayers:
~my appetite remains fantastic
~my itching subsides
~Ansley