THE PHONE CALL

well ladies and gentlemen...i got "the phone call"!!!! i was watching Friends with my dad and my phone rang at about 5:45 this evening and it was one of the NPs from the lung transplant center. i knew who it was going to be when i saw the number on ID, plus i never get calls from vandy after 4pm. & i knew it wasn't CF clinic. so i answered. i was very nervous. she proceeded to say "this is so-n-so, one of the NPs, from the lung transplant office. i wanted to let you know that we listed you this afternoon. and you are officially on the list." i kind of went blank. i didnt really know what to say. i just said "OH thats great! thank you so much!" i honestly had no idea what else to say. i kind of felt stupid. i wanted to say more words but nothing would come out of my mouth. she went on to tell me that i would be recieving a letter in the mail in the next few days explaining the details of what i will need to do up until the transplant happens. including: calling the office every thursday to report on my week, if there were any changes- if i had a fever at all, if i had to up my oxygen at all, if i started any antibiotics...etc. i asked her what my Lung Allocation Score {LAS} was. she currently did not know it, and she didn't have it in front of her at the time. but she said that i dont need to put all of my "faith" in that number {i know that already}...she basically said that the number is there if a pair of lungs matches more than one person then the number decides who is more urgent and who needs them. but like she said dont put your faith in that number. my faith is in God. in Gods time i will get a match. im in Gods hands...and when he says its time...well, its time.

i have about a million emotions tonight. anything is bound to push me over the edge...its 9:30 now, and ive actually been trying to post this since 6:30, but with internet problems i haven't been able to get it done. ive been on the verge of tears trying to let you guys know!! i probably shouldn't watch the CMAs-if taylor swift wins entertainer of the year over all of those male performers that are amazing too i may burst into tears. im not sad. im not scared. im not excited. im EVERYTHING wrapped into one. im all of those. and they are all waiting to BURST out!!! hopefully i wont burst out on any of you!! ive never felt this way before. i feel like a crazy person with multiple personalities. so many thoughts running through my head. i cant grasp a hold of one. i think im in shock. i guess i just didnt know what i would do when "it" came. or aht i would say. im sure it will all come together. and my thoughts will start making since. until then its a jumbled up mess in my head.

until then,

leigh allyn

Prayers:
~for peace to wash over me
~this new antibiotic kicks in and does the trick
~aaron and his family
~tammys father-in-law and their family